I don't mind not knowing.

For someone who always plans, plans and plans everything I can posibly plan, writing is the one place where I don't mind not knowing where I'm going.  I really don't know where a story will go, or how it will end.  I'll find out when I get there.  The ending will arrive when it arrives.  I can't know where the characters are going until they go there and tell me about it.

That's the fun of writing like I do.  I get to sit back and let the story go where it may. 

I am sooooo glad that NaNoWriMo is nearly over.  I'm coming up on the 50,000 word goal for November, but the story is all rushed and... well, to be honest... It's crap!  Yes, yes, you've heard me say that all first drafts are rubbish, and they are, but I hate rushing a story just for the sake of a word count.  I like to let it linger, ferment, season over time as I get to know the characters and what they're up to.

I go into a story knowing just a small amount about what will happen, the jist of the story, I suppose.  Most of the time the idea starts out as a handwritten note consisting of a few sentences to a couple of paragraphs... and that's it.  I work from that and weave something out of those small snippets of the characters' futures.

Basically, I'm whining about the fact that once this month is over, the story I'm working on right now will have to be rewritten in its entirety just so that I can go slower, make more out of it, and fix the bullshit that's only there because it came to me and I didn't have the time to turn it into something good. 

Yep, I'm feeling very unhappy with the overall flow of the story right now. 

There are some scenes that I absolutely love.  Those will be kept, of course.  However, there are a lot of scenes that I abhor!  Those will be deleted, changed, cut, burned, castrated, and stomped to bits and pieces while I cackle in that evil take-over-the-world kind of way.  Hey!  Come to think of it, that actually sounds kind of fun!

In the end, I think that I'll link myself to this entry so that next year I can look back on it and remember why I didn't want to do NaNoWriMo to begin with this year and will make sure that Tim reminds me to refuse next year.

I like the writer that I am and will stop screwing up my process every time the month of November rolls around.  That's it, after I meet goal this year, I'm warding off NaNoWriMo.  Thanks for the ride, but I'm done.

I hope you all have a glorious Thanksgiving Day yesterday.  We all ate too much, had loads of fun, and even put up our Christmas tree.  I will NOT be out in the Black Friday mess today.  If you read this blog regularly you know that I hate crowds.  I'll be right here, doing my daily word count, wrapping gifts, and enjoying the time with my family.  No deal is good enough for me to leave that!  LOL.
Have a great Friday!