When it rains it pours.

Well, we're on the 18th day of the month and I'm no where near the finish line for NaNoWriMo. I do believe I will fail in my 50K words this year. :(  I've had so much to deal with lately I knew it would be near impossible to take on the challenge this year. But that's me, I jump in and see what happens.

As I've already posted about, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer last month, and since then it has been a wild ride of nonstop doctor appointments, chemo treatments, and scheduling/filling/picking up scripts for all her prescriptions. Plus my "regular" life of raising children and caring for my household (dogs, cats, chickens, & even a husband!). And now, my paternal grandmother is at the final stage of her life. It won't be long before she'll be gone, and I've only known her for two years.

Yeah, it has been rough around here. I feel like I'm being pulled in more directions than my body can actually manage to be pulled in. There have been days where all I want to do is scream into a pillow and punch a wall (but I haven't...yet).

Not to mention, the longer I go without writing, the more frustrated I become. Frustration has become my middle name. :(  Writing is my break from the real world, a time to enjoy a fantasy world, and a way for me to vent without it actually being all about ME.

I texted my husband the other day on a particularly hard day and said, "I don't know why I even bother anymore."  To which my supportive man replied, "Because you love doing it."  And he was right. I do love writing! I love creating worlds from nothing. I love seeing what kinds of troubles my
characters will get into. And I especially love my readers!

I have been trying to hold onto his words: Because you love doing it. I needed that reminder. I needed that second of remembrance to feel connected to my day job. Even if I haven't been able to work like I'm used to. Writing is one of my joys and I certainly don't want to lose that.

So I'm going to resign myself to being a "loser" of NaNoWriMo this year. That's just the way it has to be. I don't have enough hours in the day to even come close to catching up and still do everything else I'm responsible for.

I will continue making handwritten notes while I'm sitting beside my mom watching poisons being pumped into her body to combat an enemy far worse. I will continue to type snippets into my cell phone notepad while I'm waiting for one of my kids to come out of school at pickup time. And I will continue to feel extremely frustrated about not having the hours and alone time to bring those notes and snippets onto my manuscript's pages. One way or another things will get done, even if it isn't on my timetable (and obviously it's not). I just have to remind myself to breathe, not panic, and just move along until things calm down enough to get back into my routine.

Mom is improving tremendously. She's beginning to take care of herself more and we're hoping it won't be long that she'll be able to take care of her own house again. Until then, I'll try not to scream into a pillow and punch a wall.

NaNoWriMo has arrived, again!

Here it is, ladies and gents! National Novel Writing Month has arrived yet again. Every year thousands of authors, would-be authors, and interested parties join the masses in an attempt to crank out at least 50,000 words in only 30 days. They don't have to be good words, nor do they have to ever see the light of day, but you are supposed to have 50,000 of them before December 1st rears its ugly head.

Even with everything going on in my life right now (i.e. Cancer Sucks!!), I have great intentions to make that 50K mark by the end of the month. I've done it several times over the years and I know I can do it again. Not to mention, I really need to get this novel's first draft done before the end of the year. It's driving me crazy that I haven't been able to finish it already and I refuse to let 2015 go by without a finished book under my metaphorical belt (I rarely wear belts).

If you're on NaNoWriMo and would like to connect, here's my page link: http://nanowrimo.org/participants/christiesilvers

Feel free to add me as a friend & maybe we can keep each other cheered on. Though it's unlikely you'll hear much cheering while everyone is banging their heads on keyboards trying to remember what a sentence is.

My WIP for this month is Bloody Sorrow (tentatively titled), and is the first book in the new series I'm working on. I'm not very far into it so adding another 50,000 words will definitely help the situation... A LOT!

Fingers crossed & high fives to everyone participating. Remember that there are no losers when you're actually writing. And that's what this month is all about... writing 'til your fingers bleed and your brain has turned to mush. LOL.  Oh, and you only need 1,667 words a day to reach the 50K mark. I know you can do it!


P.S. I adjusted the word count bar on the right of the page to reflect the words I've already written and added them to the 50K I have left to write.   ------->>>>